my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
