How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
