She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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