So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
