Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
