the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
