oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
