i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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