he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
