when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
