he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
