Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
