There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
