You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
