he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
