the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
