Sry I called you an 8
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
