5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
