Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
