we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
