it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
