im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think people are normalizing furries
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
