Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
