Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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