he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
40s are totally the cure
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
