You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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