hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
