why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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