We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
