somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
