I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
