I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
