Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
