We're like a lot better than the average bears
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
