Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i will never coherently bang her
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
