Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
