Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
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