I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
