I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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