The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
