I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
her vagine was all disorganized.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
