i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
