You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
