he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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