I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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