Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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