I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
