Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
