i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
this is an emotional support booty call
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
