got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
